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Chris Branch grew up in the working class
section of London in the small hamlet of Glavinshire which, loosely translated, means "cornmeal." As the son of
an inventor, Chris always showed an interest in developing new and better ways of getting things done.
"He didn't have too many friends" his mother recalls. "I think he enjoyed spending time alone tinkering with
all his gadgets and devices." Adds his father, "He was always locked in his room playing with himself." Having no money to attend college, Chris found work in the local cornmeal factory which provided the main source of income for the community. Working long days and nights, Chris watched the operations of the factory and began to conceive ideas about how things could be done better. His breakthrough idea was a huge hammer to ground the corn into meal. This, he thought, was certainly better than hitting each piece of corn with a small hammer. His new invention - The "Chris-hammer" - was an immediate success. The "Chris-hammer" also found applications in other industries and propelled London into a new age of manufacturing. Chris was a world-renowned star. At the peak of success, Chris moved from Glavinshire to Cincinnati which, loosely translated, means "two years behind." Here he entered the world of music after mistakenly believing the song "hammer time" to be a tribute to him. Undeterred, Chris bought a bass guitar and went searching for a band. The band Patsy's deCline, having no bass guitarist, believed that Chris - who owned a bass guitar - would be a perfect fit. In a year of unmitigated success, Chris received the crowning jewel when he was notified that he was chosen by the Queen of England to be knighted. Introducing the bass player for Patsy's deCline - Sir Chris Branch. |
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